It’s been a hectic couple of days.
The sort of days in which you spend equal parts in worrying and in being so busy you don’t have time to worry. The latter is pretty nice because your mind is churning things out at break-neck speed without taking a moment to stress about it, but damn. I have a thousand plates spinning and too many tabs open in the Chrome of my Brain. You know when you get to the point of overwhelmingly busy that you become paralyzed and shut down and don’t do anything?
Hi. I’m tyler. I’m currently paralyzed.
(I also hate the word “busy.” I actually despise it. Americans love to glamorize being busy. I’ll get to that in a later post, but it boils down to having a lot of things to do and being poor at managing everything. I have the time, just not the superb organizational skills. For now, though, we’ll just say none of it is my fault and move forward because it’s my blog and I don’t want my self-awareness to get in the way of my attempt to be a singing ray of sunshine)
I get a break in the day this afternoon with a doctor’s appointment, which is a strange state of affairs when you’re omgexcited about going to le ladydoctor. However, it IS a small, beginning piece of a significantly cool part of my life (nope, not pregnant, hold the applause), so I don’t feel too weird about my odd stirrup excitement. Once we get a little further, I’ll fill everyone in. I also hate myself for being that blogger who vaguely references something but doesn’t come clean. Scouts honor, I will soon. Trust me.
I took the plunge and became a bonafide budgeter. Today is payday, and I marched myself straight downstairs to our ATM and pulled out money for gas and food, the only two varying expenses this pay period (no clothes or Amazon for the next two weeks, womp womp). I divvied it up and put it into two envelopes. Now we wait. I imagine I’ll need to transport myself back to colonial times by the end — no internet, no leaving the house (lest I stop at Home Goods), no QVC — but damn it all, I need to make this work, even if it’s just for two weeks. I’ve proven to myself that I can form good habits and stick with them. Maybe I need a 21 Day Financial Fix as well!
On a more quiet note, today marks the two-year anniversary of my friend Leslie’s passing, which is probably a contributing factor to my cloudy brain. If you’ve been around the blogging parts for a few years, you may remember her as A Blonde Ambition. She ended every post with “be blessed, lovelies,” and that pretty much summed up her attitude on life. She was a sweet soul who married my high school friend Stephen and then proceeded to have two of the most darling daughters ever. We weren’t super close, but we had coffee dates on multiple occasions, and I miss her sunshine (and her style tips!). If you need a pick-me-up, go read through a few pages of her blog, and I guarantee, you’ll feel a little better.
And it did. One of the perks of blogging is immortalization, which sounds much more narcissistic than I intended. Being able to scroll back and relive some of those happy posts is a blessing to anyone who knew her, via the internet or in real life.
And to come back full circle, even simply tapping all of this out has made me feel decidedly better about my Eeyore-y attitude. I think sometimes you need to talk it out to get a little perspective. There is a lot of happy in each day, if you’re willing to open your eyes and notice it. Now go be blessed, lovelies. xx